Can I just say, why does life have to be so hard sometimes??? Everything's hunky dory, going along just great & then you'll have a day, where EVERYTHING just seams to go wrong. You're kids don't cooperate, you forget something important, your house feels like it will never be clean, you & your spouse fight over something stupid, you feel like a failure in so many things. I don't know. Maybe no one else has experienced a day like that, but it seams like the last couple of weeks have been like that.
For the past 3-4 months, we've been trying to get our house ready to sell, and everything has just been a little overwhelming. Some days, a lot overwhelming. On top of that, trying to do the day to day house cleaning & taking care of kids, I just feel so inadequate sometimes. Does anyone else feel like that? I swear it feels like I'm constantly cleaning up the same messes over & over. I just don't know how some people do it. You know the kind, that has the perfect house, the perfect children, that have all these beautiful crafts they hand make in their home, and whose house looks like it's professionally decorated, who have all their children in one activity or another, and can juggle it all like it was nothing. Please, all you ladies out there, that are like that, please tell me how you do it??????? I am begging you, I would really like to know.
There are some days, when my husband will come home from work and ask me what I've been doing all day. (Ya know what honey, you try and clean with 2 young boys who want your constant attention, and then we'll talk.) As soon as I get one room clean, and move on to the next. The previous room is destroyed. He thinks I have it on easy street, sitting on my butt watching t.v., or playing on the computer, or whatever the crap he thinks. It is so irritating! Just because I'm a stay at home mom, doesn't mean that I get to do whatever I want all day!!! It is seriously the hardest job I have ever done. It's not a 9-5 job, you get to leave behind when you clock out. It's a 24 hour a day job! I don't get to take off wherever I want, whenever I want. If I go anywhere, 95% of the time, I have kids with me.
There are so many nights, when I am up half the night with kids, and my husband wonders why it's so hard for me to get up in the morning. I do admit... I stay up way too late, way too often, only because it's the only time when I actually have a moment to breath, to relax without somebody or something demanding my attention. Don't get me wrong, I love being with my kids. It has nothing to do with that. It's just that I need time to collect my thoughts, and unwind. Just like my husband has his hunting and fishing, & hiking, etc., etc. I need time to recoup. And sometimes he just doesn't get that. I love my husband very much, but he is so clueless when it comes to certain things. He would tell you otherwise, but trust me dear, you are. (Sorry just had to vent.............1................2.................3............okay....breath....... ....hooooooooooo.) My husband is so gonna be happy with me when he reads this.....
To all you stay at home moms, you go girls!!! To all moms, everywhere....cheers to you!!!! What a wonderful blessing it is!!!!
Despite what I said, I really do love being a stay at home mom. Being able to watch my kids grow & develop their own unique personalities, & being able to watch them reach new milestones every day, is such a beautiful experience. I love my kids with all my heart, and couldn't imagine being anywhere else. Despite our daily challenges, it is truly the most rewarding thing I have ever done.
To my kids,.... I am so sorry for not being a better mom! No matter how many times I fail & make mistakes, I promise you I will get right back up and strive to be better. My inadequacies will not prevent me from being the best mom I can be for all of you. I love you very much!!!! Love, mom
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On that note. Don't you just love those people, that tell you how you should raise your own kids: how you should discipline them, how they should behave, what time they should go to bed, and so on and so on. Especially when (A) they have no kids of their own, (B) they don't know you at all & their children aren't exactly angels either, (C) when they say it with a condescending attitude, after making a rude comment about your children, & (D) when they not so subtly criticize your parenting skills, while in the same breath patting themselves on the back for doing such a wonderful job raising their own kids. I'm sorry, it drives me crazy. It is a huge pet peeve of mine!!! Don't get me wrong, I'm always looking for ways to better myself & my kids. I'm always asking my friends & family for advice on everything!. I love getting tips & suggestions, if I know the person who's giving them are well intended, and doing it in a king & loving way, not just to put down your efforts as a parent. Does that make any sense?
I guess I should give an example. When I was pregnant with my 2nd child, my mom & oldest sister, Jen, & her kids drove down to Vegas to visit me & my other sister Rochelle. My mom & Jen wanted to go shopping at Kohl's, since they didn't have any in Utah yet. (I had worked at the Kohl's just off of 95N & the 215, and frequently shopped there with my sister.) Since Rochelle was at work, me & my daughter Mikayla went with my mom and Jen & her kids to Kohl's. Well, somehow I ended up watching all the kids (all, but my niece, Sophie, she was an infant at the time, so she was with Jen in the fitting room). Let's just say, I thought I was going to pull all my hair out by the time we left! They kept running away, hiding in clothing racks, pulling off the size stickers off the clothes, taking the little plastic size things off the hangers. It was a nightmare! Plus they didn't remember me that well, so they didn't listen to me at all. Needless to say I was a little stressed and overwhelmed! I finally had to strap my nephew Connor in the cart with the seat belt, just to keep him from running away. Well that only made him scream for his mom. When I say scream, I mean scream! I got him to calm down a little bit by going to the fitting room where Jen was trying on a huge cartfull of clothes, but he kept crying and calling for mom over & over. My own mom even came to see what was wrong when she heard him screaming, & she tried to calm him down, but he was having none of it. He only wanted Jennifer.
Well just then, this lady walks by, and speaking loud enough for us & everyone around us to hear, said "somebody needs to shut that kid up." Ya know what, anyone who knows me knows I am a very laid back, peace-loving, slow to anger, non-confrontational person. Normally, I would've ignored that comment. But when I heard that, my temperature just boiled. I was already extremely pregnant (& hormonal) and stressed to my limit, and this rude lady was telling me to "shut my kid up." Now if she would've quietly said 'hey do you mind quieting your kid down, or could you please, stop him from screaming.' Anything.....in a nice way. It wouldn't have been a big deal. Heck if I were in her shoes, I probably would've been annoyed also. But the 'shut up' part got to me. I kid you not, I turned around, walked right up to her face and said "do you really want to bring it on." Her look of disdain, was quickly replaced with a look of fear, and she responded with a quick "no" & turned tail and quickly walked away. (Now Remember I was hormonal & stressed) I took a couple steps after her and said, "no...really...bring it on." My mom had to tell me to back off. I was shocked at myself. (((never done that before, never done it since))). Sorry, but she was just rude.
Holy crap! Since I just noticed the time, I think I shall drag my butt to bed now. I'm starting to see double. :) Yes, Rochelle, I know I should be asleep right now. I was doing so good until last night & tonight. I was up half the night with all 3 of my kids last night. And tonight, as you can see I wasn't happy with the hubby, so I got on the computer after putting kids to bed, to release my frustration. What can I say?! I'm a dork!
Peace out!
Seasonal Coloring Pages
10 hours ago
3 comments:
First, that lady at the store was a nut crack! I ignore crazy ladies...Second, I totally have had 3 months just like what you are describing. Since I had Ruby, my whole house falls apart within minutes. I can spend all day cleaning and 5 minutes before Mark comes home from work, it's destroyed by my DESTROYERS. ughhhh...I totally know the feeling.
Jodi, I know exactly what you mean. Except instead of a day - I am having a MONTH (or longer). My best friend was diagnosed with an aggresive and very rare cancer. She hid it from her family and everyone except me and her husband. She was told that it was benign in the beginning, but when it started to change and become CANCER - she cancelled all of her doctor appointments and refused to get help. She literally let it progress to the point where she was SO sick. And she was in so much pain and denial and wouldn't listen to me when I told her that it was cancer. I tried so many times to get her to go. I finally had to go behind her back and tell her family that she was hiding advanced cancer from them. They had no idea and were devistated to say the least. She was SO mad at me. She told me she never wanted to have contact with me again. So, she just got out of the hospital and she does indeed have cancer. She is talking to me now, but it's weird - I'm not sure she trusts me now - although I had to do what I did. She starts her Chemo on Tuesday. At this point it's in her lungs and possibly pancreas. It was so hard for me to go behind her back because I knew that she didn't want her family to know.
Anyway, on top of that - my husband is trying to transfer his job back to Utah - except we are 150,000 upside down in our house now. We were the ones that built at the height of the boom and paid top dollar and now the bottom fell out and we are SCREWED. Everyday lately feels like a bad day. I feel like I get hit with one punch after another.
Last Friday our church burned down. It was so sad. It was built in the 1950's and some of the members of our ward actuall built it brick by brick. So Sunday wasn't too fun when we had to travel 30 minutes to church on the other side of the freeway.
Don't you just think that sometimes life would be easier if Eve hadn't eaten that fruit. Wouldn't it be nice to live in total ignorance for awhile???
Anyway, I know exactly what you mean but life getting tough. I heard a quote saying that "The Lord has a way of comforting the disturbed and distubing the comfortable". Isn't that the truth...
I'm so sorry! You know what, as hard as it was, I probably would've done the same thing in your situation. When It comes to your friends or families lives, it's a whole new ballgame. I know she'll thank you for it later.
That quote is definitely true!!!!
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